Wednesday, 4 May 2011

What I don't want (May 2006)

hi,
 
i read an experience from may's issue of indigo.  its so good that i cannot help copying some paras and sharing with you.
 
its about a japanese lady who was married to a husband who is a marijuana smoker and was abusive.  she got divorced after two years.  the following is one of the paras that touched me deeply:
 
Was her karma finished
 
"No, Life isnt that simple.  i kept getting into the same kinds of relationships to the point where i felt there was something wrong with me, that i was not capable of being in a relationship.  I always rushed in.  I was so hungry for love, but i felt unlovable.  I was always attracted to artistic, complicated, broken guys - the 'injured pigeon' syndrome.  I was always trying to find my happiness through my partner.  Then I was in a relationshiip with yet another arty, unstable type.  He also had problems with drugs.  it was such a difficult, very difficult relationship.  different man, but almost exactly the same scenario.  I felt desperate.  I was so miserable.
 
Then on day, i was walking down the street with him.  On the other side of the street, i saw my ex husband!  I just felt that was gohonzon telling me, "what the hell are you doing?  Wake up Reiko!  You're with exactly the same guy!"  Then my life really changed because i realised what I DID NOT WANT anymore.
 
I remember chanting in tears desperately, asking angrily to my gohonzon: "why are you giving me these wrong guys?  they are draining me.  They drain my energy, drain my soul.  Please stop, so i can put all my energy into kosen rufu instead."  This is the vow i made: "I have no time and energy to waste on destructive relationships - instead i need a nurturing relationship that allows me to focus my energies on my happiness and the happiness of others."  I really meant it.  i knew i had so much to offer, but my focus in life wasnt right.
 
Also i realized that i attracted the wrong men because my attitude towards life was wrong.  My boyfriends mistreated me because i mistreated myself by not respecting myself.  It wasnt them after all; it was ME, MYSELF, and I!.  I felt very happy.  I was no longer seeking happiness in a relationship!  I felt confident, i had no fear of not having a boyfriend and, for the first time, stopped looking for one!  Afterall, i didnt want 'any' boyfriend.  Instead, i wanted a life partner, and  I knew he was coming my way sosoner or later.  I had this immense confidence, so it no longer mattered WHEN this man would appear.  for the first itme, i felt strong and happy with myself!  Hooray!
 
The ending:  after her change in attitude, she soon met a nice and sweet man (her next door neighbour) who respects and loves her.  she said" I couldnt believe he would appear so soon.  and someone so close to me!  he was right next door!  i really felt that the depth of prayer is beyond time and space.  She is now married and has two lovely children.
 
such a powerful life story.
 
cheers
 
lydia

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