From Nessa re Chloe

dear nessa

tks for such a nice email. yes, i treat and respect chloe as an adult.  i talk to her about life, relationships, business, problems,  our buddhist philosophy and she asked intelligent questions.

i see a LOT of potential and good qualities in this young girl,  however at the beginning she did not seem to have very high self esteem nor confidence in herself, thats why i have tried very hard to make her realize and see all the good qualities and potential in her. this is what i have learned in our buddhist practice: to encourage, respect and appreciate.

i agree with you 100% in your saying as below:

how an adult's treatment and expectations towards a youngster can help flourish or suppress the youngster's development. we treat our little boys and girls with respect and the expectation that they can manage the materials they work with, with respect and independence

i made serious mistakes when i raised kevin and michele, not encouraging them nor giving them compliments, trying to make them do things 'i think' was right, or criticizing them when they dont do things i want them to do, in doing so, i had suppressed kevins growth.  since i started my buddhist practice, i have learned and changed, and i find that this is very helpful indeed.

tks nessa, for your good insight.  i am going to share this with all my friends and family, with the hope that others will learn from my mistake and live a much smoother and happier life.

lydia

below is nessa's email:

Dear Aunty Lydia,

Wow, I am so happy for you that you had such a wonderful, gerat quality time with Chloe, she is indeed very mature, and I believe that you two will continue to enjoy this friendship from hereon...thanks to your openness towards her, and treating her like a friend first, therefore allowing her to show her mature side too, to live up to what she can be.  I can now really see, as a teacher, how an adult's treatment and expectations towards a youngster can help flourish or suppress the youngster's development. this is why I appreciate Montessori so much, because we treat our little boys and girls with respect and the expectation that they can manage the materials they work with, with respect and independence.  We shake their hand to greet them as if they are grown-ups, we don't baby talk with them. This is surely the same effect you have on your beloved granddaughter.  Moreover, it is her respect towards you that motivates her to write such a beautiful and heartfelt message.   Michele and Ben are very lucky!

xo Nessa

Chloe in Sydney 2012

my dear friends and family

chloe left for hong kong this morning.  just now i was so happily surprised to find that she had removed all her used bed sheets, pillow cases and towels into the laundry area.  what good manners, how thoughtful!  (oh, my son kevin taught her this and she has learned.)

during her stay with me, we are more like good friends.  i can talk with her about my problems, joy, frustrations, relationships and she can understand and share, and vice versa.  i begin to miss her and when i logged into my email, i saw the following message from her and i am so touched.  a little girl of 15 would have the heart to appreciate, be grateful and thankful.

as she had mentioned, she learned from attending all sgi meetings in sydney.  and she said what she has learned in these meetings will leave traits to help her now, and in the future.

to quote her, 'words cannot describe' how happy i am to see a young girl grow in such a short period of time', ie 1 1/2 months in sydney.

i would really encourage parents to take their children to sgi meetings so they will have the good fortune to learn from our profound theory.  am attaching a photo of chloe, a lovely and pretty girl.

cheers

lydia

below is the email from lovely chloe:

dear nana,
you're standing right next to me as I write this email, so I'm trying to be discrete ;). I want to send you this email to thank you for everything you've given me, words cannot describe how grateful I am. I have enjoyed every day I've spent with both you and na kung, and I will really miss it when I'm in hong kong. I feel as if you're more of a friend than a nana ;).. also I'd like to thank you so much for taking me to all the sgi meetings, I've learnt and benefited so much from attending and listening. Both you, and sgi has taught me how to live as a genuine, humble, good human being, and I'm so thankful because all these traits will help me now, and in the future.
hope to see you soon,
chloe

Blessing and Protection (Aug 10, 2012)

my dear friends and family

i have not been writing for sometime and below i am sharing with you what i have been thru these past few months.

A severe cold

in june, when i was in hong kong, i  contracted a very very bad cold.  i had to confine at home for about one week trying to recover.  since then my body had been weakened and on return to sydney, i still had not recovered and was feeling very weak.

Internet

as i was trying to help myself get better, something horrible happened to my computer.  one night as i was checking my yahoo emails, all of a sudden, right in front of my eyes, all my incoming mails had disappeared!  this incident had happened more then three times during that week,  i was terribly alarmed , lost and didnt know what to do: had my computer been hacked??? i was so frightened even to start and use my desk top.

i tried to use my iphone to log onto yahoo mail, and then one afternoon, all the mails in the yahoo box also got disappeared and i could not log in again, and at night all my records in whatsapp and even my 'notes' in the iphone also disappeared right in front of my eyes!!!!!!  i even thought that there must be GHOSTS around

you can imagine how frightened (not of ghosts ) and worried i was.   as all the while trying to find out whats wrong staying up until 2 am every night.    one day by chance a friend told me that Yahoo USA had been hacked and over 200,000 were affected!  then i realized it was yahoos problem and i stopped using yahoo.

fortunately during this time, i got support from two lovely ladies in hong kong and a high tech IT guy who volunteered to come to my home to check and fix my computer, and help me transfer info to my gmail account. this was very comforting to me.  now things are back to normal.


my health

because of the above, my health was further weakened and i became neurotic, to the point that i had heart palpitations which made me dizzy, and short of breath.  i could not think and  was at a loss of words when i wanted to speak.   i did not even have the energy to talk, nor to chant and i could only whisper when i chanted.  there was nothing i could do except to chant nam myo ho renge kyo for better health.   i chanted  to the gohonzon for energy because my mission is to encourage and support other people, and i needed the energy (which i did not have then) to do so.

kevin took me to a doctor whom i had no confidence, then by luck i remembered the name of a very good doctor who treated me last year and found his name on the internet; by the way, his name is Dr. Joseph Santos, a very very good doctor who cared,  listened, explained and asked me to have relevant blood tests, brain and neck scan, and gave me advice on the proper medication.

tks to Dr. Santos, my health is now getting much better, i am more settled and all test results are fine.

andrew

a couple of weeks ago, on a friday afternoon, after lunch andrew said he had discomfort in the chest.  as i had had stomache problems all along, so i thought it was reflux, gas or indigestion. 

1 pm sat noon after andrew finished work,  our nurse called and said andrew was feeling very unwell. i immediately rushed home and called our doctor friend who suggested we go to the nearby hospital.

when we arr at the emergency ward andrew had the BEST care and attention, they staff immediately took him in and gave him an ECG and a blood test.  2 hours later they told him the blood test was confusing and asked him to stay in the hospital.  they also gave him aspirins.   (all the while i was feeling very unwell myself, andrew even jokingly said i looked even sicker then he did)

sunday morning the cardio doc said that all his blood tests were find, but they would still give him a scan on monday and if the scan is find, he can go home.

monday morning after the scan andrew called and said the scan did not look too good and they would give him an angiogram to check his arteries in the heart, because  they didnt know the schedule yet Andrew said he wanted to come home first and book in some other time later in the week when he is not too busy for the angio.  i instantively said no and asked him to stay in the hospital UNTIL everything was cleared.

10 min later andrew called again and said his latest blood test overnight showed that he had a minor heart attack and they would give him an angio the same day, ie monday.  during the procedure, it was found that andrew had TWO blocked arteries in his heart and they put in two stents.

andrew is now back home and back to work, and he is slowly recovering.  however, i have to keep an eye on his routine and diet, and will have to find ways to build up his energy level again. 

blessing and protection

the above is a brief account of all the scenarios i had gone thru.  i had to say that it had not been an easy time for me; however during these difficult times, i could feel the protection that i have received:  help from hong kong and sydney on the internet, the advice from a friend on yahoo which came in the right time, the good doctor who genuinely cared and helped me and all the good staffs in the hospital who helped andrew.  these are the shoten senjins (guardian angels) who protect us when we chant nam myo ho renge kyo.

furthermore i consider it a  real blessing that we found andrews problem BEFORE anything worse bad happened, the slight heart attack did no damage to his heart, and is to alert him to be more careful with his diet (an effort i had spent in the last 10 yrs but with not much success )

all in all, my buddhist practice had taught me that, when we chant nam myo ho renge kyo, and have faith in the gohonzon, whatever hurdles we come across we have the power to overcome them, and rise above

cheers

logic and reality Aug 14, 2012

my dear friends and family

last week i watched a TV science documentary talking about reality in life, in the universe etc....  sciencetists tried hard to analyze what 'reality' is, initially they said that 'reality' is a hollowgraph, then later they said they cannot really explain what 'reality' is.

this reminds me of an incident a couple of weeks ago:  on my way to encourage a member who has been chanting and practicing our buddhist practice for more than one year but did not seem to have made much progress , i talked to chloe about my problem,  chloe is my granddaughter who is on holiday in sydney, she is 15. 

to my surprise, chloe said: maybe this member is trying to use her logic to understand the buddhist philosophy, which is about the power of life, and the power of the universe.  chloe also said: ' maybe this member has been asking and asking for things in her prayer and did not take appropriate action to reach her goals, and then complained.' hearing chloes comment, i was stunned.

chloe is only 15, and she has the wisdom to give me her insight which had helped me so much when i talked to the member concerned. yes, life and the law of the universe is sooo mystic and so powerful that even scientists cannot explain, let alone simple logic.

i am so happy, and so proud, of little chloe, and i must say that i enjoy every minute of her stay with me.  she is so pure, simple, so understanding,  and yet so wise and so intelligent.  she is also a very happy and kind hearted girl.  she attends every sgi group meeting with me (amost three times a week) and is enjoying the meetings very much.

mrs. cheng (chloes mother and my daughter), you've got a lovely daughter.  (from movie: the graduate)

cheers

trash or treasure - 廢物或珍宝 (July 8th 2011)

my dear friends and family

 

this is an interesting story which i had wanted to share since april, but could not find time to so do.

 

this is about kevin's car, the subaru which i bought for him in 2001.

 

as mentioned in my earlier email, kevin decided to buy a new car and return this old car for me to resell.  at that time he said: mom i think for this old car the maximum u can only sell for would be about max $7000.

 

somehow back in my mind, i know it would worth much more than this, so i asked him to bring it over to me.  when i saw it and had test driven it, i was extremely happy with it, kevin had it detailed cleaned inside out, and he spent about $5000 to fix up all parts.  i knew i could sell this for $10,000.

 

when i told andrew about this, he laughed and said that the NRMA survey says that this model is only worth about $5-6000.

he laughed at me in front of his friends saying i am crazy , he even said: if you can sell for $10,000, i will cut my head off for you to sit on  .

 

i disregarded what kevin, andrew and all the surveys had said and said to andrew: well, just let me try. of course, i chanted nam myo ho renge kyo to the gohonzon to help me achieve this goal.

 

i took all necesary actions to keep a good image of the car, including putting it in my own garage and took some beautiful photos in the park.  the car did look brand new.  (see photos)

 

when everything is all ready, i put ads in the internet on sunday, the asking price was $10,500, leaving $500 for bargaining. 

 

the next day, at 4 pm, i got a call from a lady who said: i like this car very much, i want to buy it for my daughter and i will pay you $9000, in cash right now and take the car from you.

 

i said: i thank you for liking my car, however i want $10,000 for this car.  (although $9000 is not a bad price at all, i really wanted to show andrew that i could sell for $10,000) so i turned down the offer. 

 

then at 5 pm a guy called and said he wanted to buy this for his son and also offered me $9000.

 

had my faith been less strong, i would have accepted these two 'not bad' offers, however, i was very determined to show andrew, and even kevin what can be done.  so i turned down this offer again.

 

then at about 6.30 pm, a young guy called and enquired.  i said: are u ok with the price? i dont want to waste your time.  he then said: yes, its ok.  the same night, he and his parents came to our home to see the car, test drove it and bought it for $10,500!!!!, not a penny more, not a penny less.

 

when kevin learned about this deal, he said: mom, how can u sell this pc. ofMETAL JUNK for soooo much?

 

so in kevin's eyes, this beautiful car is a pc of JUNK, and if he sees it as junk, his potential buyers will also see it as junk and there is no value in it.

 

however, i saw it as a nice, smart, efficient and beautiful car, the photos showed this image and all buyers saw it the way i presented it. the young boy who bought this car was soooo happy and he treated it like a treasuresaying that he had always wanted a car like this.

 

the reason for my writing this long email is: a lot of times we dont think very highly of ourselves, saying: i am not pretty, i am too fat, i am too old, i am not good enough ......., so we regard ourselves as trash, and in return, people do not value us.

 

however, if we trust in our own selves, our potential, our goodness and regard ourselves as a treasure or an asset, then other people will regard us as a jewel. people see us the way we see ourselves.

 

oh by the way, andrew's head is still sitting comfortable on his neck. 

 

cheers

 

lydia 

 

以下是中文版:

 

這是一個有趣的故事，自4月份以來我一直想和大家分享，但都沒有找到時間。這是關於我在2001年買給兒子的車，一架susbaru的故事。
正如我之前面說過，kevin決定自己買一輛新車，並將這車還給我去出售。當時他說：媽媽我想這架舊汽車最多只能賣$ 7000。
在我心中，我知道它的價值一定不止$7000,所以我要求他給我看看。當我看到這架車，並試驅動它之後，我對這車感到十分滿意，kevin將它內外都抹得一塵不染，而他花了約$5000修理了所有零件。我知道我一定可以賣到1萬澳元。
當我告訴andrew 時, 他說，根據NRMA的調查說，這種模式是只值約 $5-6000。他在他的朋友面前說我瘋了，他甚至說：如果你能賣到 1萬元，我會砍掉我的腦袋下來給你坐。
我不理會kevin, andrew和所有的調查報告, 只是同andrew說：讓我試試吧。當然，我在康座前唸南無妙法蓮華經去幫我實現這個目標。
我採取了一切必要的行動，盡量好好的保持這車，把它泊在自己的車裏裹，並將這車車去公園拍了一些漂亮的照片在。車子看起來是全新的一樣。 （見附圖）
當一切都準備好了，我在星期日把廣告放在互聯網上，要​​價是$ 10,500，留下500元去給人講價。
第二天，在下午4點，我接到一位女士的電話,說：我非常喜歡這款車，我想買給我的女兒，我可以現在立刻給你$ 9000現金並來拿這車。
我說：我感謝你喜歡我的車，不過我要賣一萬元。 （雖然$9000是個不錯的價格，但我真的想証明給andrew我可以賣到 1萬元），所以我拒絕她。


然後在下午5點一個男人打來電話，說他也想買這車給他的兒子, 並出價$ 9000。
如果我的信心沒有那麼強，我會接受這兩個“不壞”的價錢，不過，我是很有決心去讓andrew 和kevin知道我一定可以做到。所以我再次拒絕了這個價錢。
然後在下午6:30左右，一個年輕的男子打電話詢問。我說：我要$10,500, 你有沒有問題? 我不想浪費你的時間。他接著說：無問題。同一天晚上，他和他的父母來到我家看車，試開它，然後用$10.500買了它.!!!! 一分錢也不少。
當kevin知道之後，他說：媽媽，這个十年舊的廢鉄怎可能賣到咁多錢？
因為在kevin眼裡，這個美麗的車是件垃圾，如果他視為它為垃圾，他的潛在買家也將它视為垃圾而一文不值了。
不過，我視它為一架性能很好的，高效，漂亮的車，並將這個形象在的照片上顯示出來，而所有買家看的就是我想顯示的它。那位年輕的男孩買了這車非常高興，並视它為塊寶, 說，我一直想要一架這樣的車。
我之所以寫這篇長的電子郵件是想告訴大家：很多時候，我們看低自己,說：我不漂亮，我太胖，我太老了，我還不夠好...... ，，我們說自己無用, 所以其他人就看低我們, 覺得我們無用了.

但是，如果我們信任我們自我能力，及我們的潛力，我們的好處，把自己視為珍寶或資產，那麼其他人會把為我們視為珍寶. 我們怎樣看我們自己, 別人就怎樣看我們.
哦對了，現在andrew的頭還舒適的坐在他的脖子上。

lydia exp turn poison into medicine (July 13th 2012)

lydia write up chinese nam myo ho renge kyo (July 13th 2011)