From Nessa re Chloe

dear nessa

tks for such a nice email. yes, i treat and respect chloe as an adult.  i talk to her about life, relationships, business, problems,  our buddhist philosophy and she asked intelligent questions.

i see a LOT of potential and good qualities in this young girl,  however at the beginning she did not seem to have very high self esteem nor confidence in herself, thats why i have tried very hard to make her realize and see all the good qualities and potential in her. this is what i have learned in our buddhist practice: to encourage, respect and appreciate.

i agree with you 100% in your saying as below:

how an adult's treatment and expectations towards a youngster can help flourish or suppress the youngster's development. we treat our little boys and girls with respect and the expectation that they can manage the materials they work with, with respect and independence

i made serious mistakes when i raised kevin and michele, not encouraging them nor giving them compliments, trying to make them do things 'i think' was right, or criticizing them when they dont do things i want them to do, in doing so, i had suppressed kevins growth.  since i started my buddhist practice, i have learned and changed, and i find that this is very helpful indeed.

tks nessa, for your good insight.  i am going to share this with all my friends and family, with the hope that others will learn from my mistake and live a much smoother and happier life.

lydia

below is nessa's email:

Dear Aunty Lydia,

Wow, I am so happy for you that you had such a wonderful, gerat quality time with Chloe, she is indeed very mature, and I believe that you two will continue to enjoy this friendship from hereon...thanks to your openness towards her, and treating her like a friend first, therefore allowing her to show her mature side too, to live up to what she can be.  I can now really see, as a teacher, how an adult's treatment and expectations towards a youngster can help flourish or suppress the youngster's development. this is why I appreciate Montessori so much, because we treat our little boys and girls with respect and the expectation that they can manage the materials they work with, with respect and independence.  We shake their hand to greet them as if they are grown-ups, we don't baby talk with them. This is surely the same effect you have on your beloved granddaughter.  Moreover, it is her respect towards you that motivates her to write such a beautiful and heartfelt message.   Michele and Ben are very lucky!

xo Nessa